Yes that’s right!! You did read the header correctly! I am now a fully fledged mad driver on the roads of England!! WOOOO!!! It was the day I had been dreading for months… Tuesday 25th August 2009… Now, I normally look forward to Tuesdays as they’re usually my days off which I spend just chilling with Dave, playing a little Playstation 3 which is soooo fun but NOPE! Not this Tuesday! I was bricking it! I was well prepared though having visited the pharmacy a couple of days before THE DREADED TEST and picked up not one but TWO bottles of Bach’s Rescue Remedy Spray just in case I lost one or the spray format didn’t work and I needed the drop format! How sad I know, but I wasn’t taking any chances! So I tried the spray out at work, no bad side affects and it didn’t make me drowsy which was a huuuuuge plus! Shazmin, my fellow Crew Chicken even noticed the change and commented on “how calm” I suddenly seemed. “Hallelujah”!!!! I thought!
Suddenly it was Monday night, the test was only HOURS away and my stomach was churning! I couldn’t even eat dinner!… And I ALWAYS eat dinner!! I went out for a quick spin with Dad before bed just to get some final practice in, plus I got to give Bernie a bath to get him looking at his most dazzling!
…. Before I knew it, it was 6am (you heard me right, 6 frigging AM!) and the ‘marimba’ tune was going off on my iPhone. I managed to drag my sorry ass out of bed and get dressed into something vaguely comfortable, and tried to force feed myself Rice Krispies which didn’t really work. As I was applying my make up I thought, “Lets put on the radio and listen to some music to calm me down” and what was the first song that I heard!?!??! The flipping Jaws soundtrack!! I hate that music, I don’t know what it is, something about the horns and the suspense building that just makes my stomach feel all nervous and scared. “Great!” I thought to myself, “I’m taking that as a BAD sign!!” :( As I went downstairs Mum was fussing around as usual making me a full blown packed lunch just in case I got hungry before my test. Bless her, I never did eat any of it! My instructor came at 6.40AM sharp to pick me up and suddenly I was in Guildford practicing my reverse around a corner whilst she applied her make up. “This is happening waaaay too fast” I thought to myself as she told me to drive to the test centre at it was 8.00 AM (my test was at 8.10AM).
I walked into the shed that was the test centre (I’m not joking, it was basically a shed on wheels) and squeezed myself into the minute toilet which was full of spiders (lovely and calming seeing as I HATE them) and quickly sprayed my mouth full of Rescue Remedy. “Come on Jenny, you can do this” was about all I could summon in my head to try and inspire me, and so, feeling that I could no longer put it off anymore, I made my way to the waiting room of DEATH!
I watched as other nervous drivers filed into the room each with their equally nervous looking instructors. Then, it happened! The examiners came in and began calling out the names of who they would be testing. They all looked old and scary with mustaches and beards and bald heads and all I could think was, “Please let me have a nice one!” Then I heard a lovely delicate voice behind the beardies and the baldies call out “Jennifer Lawrence.” HORAAAH! She was a woman! And not only that, she was the same woman who had tested Dave! REJOICE!!! You wouldn’t believe the relief I felt, especially when Julianna my instructor seemed to know Kelly (the examiner) extremely well. They shook hands and seemed genuinely pleased to see each other. I remembered that Julianna had once told me that the examiners at the test centre knew she would never put someone through who she thought was unfit for the test, so hopefully Kelly was thinking something along those lines when she saw Julianna. We went ahead with the test, the number plate reading went fine, as did the show me, tell me part of the test. Then we got in the car and the real hard part began!
“Please not bay park, NOT BAY PARK” was all I could think, as it was the one maneuver that I had the most trouble with. I mean, I could do it, but not every time! “Right Jennifer, to begin with I’d like you to drive out of this bay either to the left or right and then reverse back and do a BAY PARK.” “CRRAAAAAAAAAAAAP” was the only thought that was racing though my mind, “This is not a good start!!!!!” I got it wrong right from the beginning, I didn’t go forward enough, I didn’t turn left enough, but I did manage to get back into the bay! OH! But Bernie wouldn’t go into reverse which just made the situation 10 times worse. Throughout the rest of the test, there were a number of occasions where I couldn’t get it to go into reverse, but I was hoping that she would see it was the cars fault and not actually my driving! It was very strange though, I felt like I was having an out of body experience because I just didn’t feel nervous! Not one tiny bit! As soon as I sat in the car and drove, all my nerves just trickled away and I was driving just like I was in a lesson! It was so crazy! I was aware that I should’ve been nervous as I was driving, but I felt nothing! I just thanked my lucky stars! Someone was smiling down on me that day that’s for sure!
And then it was over. We drove slowly back to the test centre and thank the lord, she didn’t get me to do another bay park! Then, extremely quietly she said, “Well Jennifer, that’s the end of the practical test, I’m pleased to say that you have passed……” and I didn’t hear a word she said after that! In fact, all I heard was the “I’m pleased…” bit! “I’ve passed, I’VE PASSED?????” I couldn’t believe it! First time! I can honestly say, I never thought I would pass first time. Everyone always goes on about how hard it is to pass and you have to be really lucky, so I just assumed that your first test would always be a warm up, BUT NOOO!!! It was such an amazing feeling! A milestone had been passed and I could now drive… ANYWHERE!
Julianna drove me home as my legs had suddenly turned to treacle and all the adrenaline that had got me through the morning had now worn off and i was exhausted! As soon as I got home, I made myself a boiled egg and a nice cup of tea and basked in the warm glow I was feeling :) All I wanted to do was drive!! It was so bizarre! The first thing I did once I was properly fed and watered was the purchasing of the ‘P’ plates! It was crazy to be alone in my car, with no one to criticise my driving and I could drive at my own pace with my own music FULL BLAST! The first song I heard was the Black Eyed Peas’ latest song ‘I Gotta Felling’ which was highly appropriate! I was so happy! I drove to Dave’s house to deliver the good news and promptly fell asleep on his bed! Well, it had been a very busy morning!
And shall I tell you the best part of the test?? All I got was 3 minors!!! AMAZING! Just 3! One for that horrid bay park (control), another for speed (apparently when I went from a 40 to a 30 I didn’t slow down quickly enough) and then the last for my turn in the road (control again! I blame my flipping gears that didn’t want to go into reverse!!!!) Overall though, I was extremely impressed with my performance! I actually cried a little when my parents hugged me! Ahhh What a loser I am!!
Now I’m on the hunt for an iPhone holder for my KA which sits on the air vents! Any ideas??